Your article is a wild ride! Replacing civil servants with zombies? I guess that's one way to cut costs—no need for health insurance or life insurance when your workforce is already undead! And privatizing FEMA with Sauron's Orcs? Talk about a disaster relief team with a unique skill set. Just imagine the office parties—zombies, Orcs, and King Kong all mingling together. It's like a Halloween party that never ends! Your articles are always priceless. :-)